Allow me to introduce you to our GPS. While he swears his name is "James", we have decided to call him "Junior," in deference to Alfred, our former GPS. (Alfred apparently does not like to travel, thus the addition of Junior to our lives.)
If Junior could talk - and by "talk," I mean have a conversation, as opposed to arbitrarily giving out directions - I believe he would express a certain amount of annoyance towards Louchador and myself. We keep asking him to take us to places around the Air Force base when he simply is not equipped to do so. And when we discover this inadequacy, the annoyance is returned and I'm afraid we insult Junior from time to time.
This would not be the only cause for everyone's annoyance. American roads often tend to be guided and organized by clear street signs, traffic lights, and legitimate left- and right-hand turns. German roads, on the other hand, are characterized by a roundabouts (traffic circles), a multitude of traffic signs that MUST be memorized, and more twisting, curving roads than actual angled turns. As a result, we have failed to follow a number of Junior's instructions and he has been forced to find alternate routes for us.
That being said, Junior has been a tremendous help in our search for a house. He has informed us of the change in speed limits by sounding the first six notes of "Jingle Bells" as a warning. He has taken us to addresses in Kaiserslautern, Landstuhl, Mackenbach, Weilerbach, Steinwenden, Frankelbach, Haupstuhl, Kindsbach, and Niedermohr. He has taken us to see townhouses with no garages, duplexes that do not have actual kitchens, and stand-alone houses where Chuck would not be welcome. He helped us to successfully follow Stephanie, our realtor, as she took us to see two potential homes. And he has now been programmed to remember our soon-to-be home in the village of Brücken! (The outside is gonna be redone once the weather gets nicer, but the inside is GORGEOUS.)
Front Door:
Backyard:
I do believe Junior thinks we are nothing more than ignorant Yankees who do not know an autobahn from a roundabout. We shall prove him wrong in this:
- Anyone who passes the USAEurope driving test is clearly NOT ignorant. (Trust me. Louchador and I have both had to face this beast of transportational instruction.)
- We may still be frightened of the autobahn, but at least we can enter and exit this massive speedway without causing any traffic accidents.
- We DO know how to distinguish the autobahn from the roundabout. On the autobahn, one must drive continuously, and at a high rate of speed. In a roundabout, one must maintain a lower rate of speed and pay attention so as to not keep driving in circles forever.
So, dearest Briatron, someday you and Phongster shall have the opportunity to meet Junior. I sincerely hope he is able to retain his good manners until then, even in spite of the aforementioned annoyances.
Much love and safe navigating,
Mandar the Magnificent
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