iPhones can't swim.

And I should know ... mine took a tumble into the waters of the porcelain god and sank straight to the bottom. I'm sorry to say that my iPhone 5 has gone to be with the Lord. The ironic thing about this is that this particular phone was, by the way, already the second I'd had, seeing as how the first one became one with the ocean last summer. I put too much trust in the pocket of my sweatshirt. All we wanted was to watch fireworks - was that too much to ask? Apparently. Put some rocks in our way, throw the dog in my arms, visualize us running around said rocks to get a better view of the fireworks, and the end result is the ocean claiming my phone for its own.

Now I know we've all heard this before, and many of us fall into the "I'd-never-let-something-like-that-happen" category. Well, I'm here to tell you that your best intentions will fail you. How do I know? Because it's happened to me.

Twice.
There's not a whole lot to this story, except to put out a  
VERY STRONG WARNING!!!

Never again shall I put my phone in the back pocket of my pants. Well ... I probably will ... but I shall strive ever so hard to always check said pocket before using the loo. And I should like to encourage you and everyone of our acquaintance to do the same. Lack of vigilance may result in the purchase of a new phone much sooner and for much more money than is necessary.

I shall be especially aware as my phone is a means of communication with beloved people such as yourself, and I should not ever like to lose that. Because I like you quite a lot, dear friend.

Cellularly safe,
Mandar the Magnificent