Perhaps you have not heard the story of the great migration of 2013. If this is the case, then let me enlighten you.
You know, of course, that my dearly beloved husband and I must soon move to the distant land of Deutschland. (Some call it Germany.) When one moves from one house to another, a great many details must be handled. How many more details are involved when one moves across the world! However, for the purposes of time and patience, I shall limit this communique to the description of merely one facet of such a move.
I would like to title it: "To Hoard or Not to Hoard."
The day finally came when the movers arrived at our quaint little home to pack up our material lives. The house was quite literally a disaster, as we had been moving things from room to room in an effort to create some form of organization. (We will not know the success of such efforts until our belongings arrive in Germany - I anticipate something akin to an archaelogical dig site.) The movers looked into each room to determine whether or not everything inside was to be packed, and we said that it was.
Thus began two days of folding, unfolding, wrapping, stickering, labeling and inventorying. The movers had a seemingly endless supply of packing tape, paper, and boxes of all shapes and sizes. You might find yourself wondering, "Why did they need so much paper?" The answer is this quite simple: they wrapped EVERYTHING. Dishes, cups, books, cords, utensils, trinkets, you name it, they wrapped it. Not only did they use paper for wrapping, they also used it for stuffing. Not stuffing animals, though - stuffing boxes. I do believe that the only way for an item in one of those boxes to break would be if something very heavy were to land on it. (And by "heavy," I mean something like an elephant or a semi-truck.)
They began with the kitchen and the office, one man in each room. Boxes were constructed, paper was stuffed, and the wrapping of each individual item commenced. As one might imagine, packing the kitchen did take a considerable amount of time, especially when one considers all of the dishes and glassware and other potentially breakable items usually housed in kitchen cabinets. However, I do not believe the man packing up the kitchen was prepared for the number of mugs we own.
Mugs, you say? Yes, mugs.
Mugs that came with our dishes.
Mugs that were given to us as gifts.
Mugs we have purchased as memorabilia.
Mugs to use at Christmas time.
It would seem that we have a certain affinity for mugs.
As one of the other workers was packing up the office, it because apparent that we also have an affinity for ... well ... books and music and office supplies and electronics cords and action figures and all kinds of other miscellany. We reached this conclusion when, speaking to his coworker, the man in the office said, "Dude. It just keeps going."
An appropriate response in the modern vernacular might be "face palm." I looked at my husband and we both shook our heads in shame. It is surprising how much material "wealth" one acquires when one isn't looking. It's equally surprising how much of said wealth can be placed, packed, stuffed, and squished into small spaces when necessary.
Needless to say, we have since determined that we will be ridding our home of a great many things once we reach Germany. Some of it may be sold in a yard sale; some may be taken to a esale facility; some may even be thrown away in a fit of disgust. Whatever the method of shedding, we hope to vastly diminish the amount of unnecessary possessions that are currently making their way to Germany via the great blue ocean.
The moral of the story is as follows: Restrain oneself in the excessive purchasing of anything that is not an absolute "need." Failure to do so may result in self-imposed humiliation whilst watching complete strangers shake their own heads at the amount of packing they must do on your behalf.
Best wishes to the Phongster and Midgey-Poo,
Mandar the Magnificent
